my mouth tastes like poor choices
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
