I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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