Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Never joke about your clitoris.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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