It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
