no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
