hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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