Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
