did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
