We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
false alarm, still single
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
