I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
