dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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