Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
