She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
