I can tuck mytits in my pants
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
