Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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