i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
