Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize