glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
