i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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