Can i not drive my cunt home
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
