You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.