i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
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I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
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just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!