That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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