Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
