I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
