Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
