So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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