There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.