i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.