well you can't waste a boner
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I supernannyed him into submission
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
