I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize