guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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