K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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