they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
