I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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