Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
