I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
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I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Rumble strips road head = magical
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
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If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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