if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
no, he came in my armpit
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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