You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize