An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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