We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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