I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
