how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Im part way to drunk.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
