Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize