Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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