apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize