i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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