Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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