i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
