This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His nipple licking is glorious
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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