Your tits are I can't wait for
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
