Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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