i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
