we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
