does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
