I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
