Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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