You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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